Buzzwords Competition 2020 – results
It was a very strong field with almost 1,000 entries. Please scroll down for judge’s comments and winning poems.
First prize: Strange Nature - Joanne Key
Joint runner up: The Second of August – Peter Donnelly and Monument Valley - Penny Boxall
Commended: The Scots Pine – Adrian Buckner; The Telephone Box - Marion McCready; The Adoration - Roy Marshall; What the birds said - Ama Bolton; Littlehampton - Alexandra Corrin-Tachibana
The Gloucestershire Prize: Lucy Onsloe’s Error – David Hale
Runner up: Storm - David Clarke
The following poets were on the shortlist, in no particular order. We are only giving names, not titles so that there is no bar to publication or other competitions.
Mary Mulholland, Christopher James (x2), Jules Whiting, Isabella Mead, Abigail Rowland, Sean Burke, Cheryl Pearson, Christina Thatcher, Neil Elder, Claudine Toutoungi, Gwen Sayers, Carol Sheppard, Caroline Price, Ben Verinder, Jenny Johnson, Angela Croft, Linda Ford, Nikolas Domanski, Chris Hemingway.
Judge’s comments
Congratulations to all winners and shortlisted poets! It has been a joy and a privilege to read so many strong and individual poems covering a fascinatingly-wide range of themes. I have decided to post quite a ‘long’ shortlist, as I felt each of these poems possessed a singular voice, and had their own certainty both of form and imagination. These poems might each take their place in a poetry magazine with aplomb.
Strange Nature, the winning poem, is earthy, spooky, elemental. It stopped me in my tracks. The language employed is direct and sharp, carrying the charge of this strange narrative with verve, the form fitting the content like a glove. There is not a wasted word, the story of the ‘Bigheads’ moves forward energetically, never drifting off the point. The fairy-tale mood is chilled-through with sexual threat and predation, and the wit of the closure brings catharsis, release, completion.
I have awarded the runner-up prize jointly. Each of these two poems, Monument Valley, and The Second of August, focus on loss and grief. Each poet finds an original way of writing about a subject where it might seem everything has already been said. Monument Valley describes a vigil at the bedside of one who is in Intensive Care, where the heart monitor machine is de-familiarized by a telling comparison to ‘the little graphs that to my untrained/eye resembled canyons, rock formations. Then I had it. Monument Valley.’ This releases the uttered grief of what can now never be. Clarity of language and steadiness of imaginative purpose make this poem memorable. Likewise The Second of August, sets the emphasis both on the composer Gerard Finzi, and on a specific place, (St Wilfred’s Church); and the way Finzi’s life and music are entwined with the narrator’s memory of his late grandfather create a deeply-moving but unsentimental elegy. We are reminded tellingly of the part chance plays in our life and our memories. A supple poem shaped with profound grace.
The 5 Commended Poems:
The Scots Pine: The superior voice of the pine is well-achieved, and the couplet form is perfect for this poem. I really liked the Scots Pine’s view of the other trees around, the inter-relatedness of the trees themselves, and the particularity of nature embodied in the poem.
The Telephone Box: the personality of the telephone box comes across strongly, as do the contrasts created between this now-old-fashioned communication device, and nature as it impinges upon the phone box. The sense of longing for a call that never comes expressed by the speaker in the poem is beautifully-judged, as is the poignant realisation that whoever or whatever calls wants to speak only to ‘the heron’ or the ‘jackdaw’.
The Adoration: a very grounded sonnet animated by an intense scrutiny of the body at a critical juncture; the skin, the thumbs, the toes… Depth of feeling is matched by an acceptance of a situation. The poem possesses grace and insight. There is wit and tenderness – ‘He admired the elasticity/of the scrotum the way its shape and texture shifted/with the weather.’ The perception of the manner in which every cell plays its part in a human organism, the sense of absolute being in the body, is accomplished with much skill.
What the birds said: A lovely lilting rhythm goes through this incantatory poem, where the osprey, the gannet, the cormorant, the rain goose, and the raven all speak their truth. Language and form are beautifully spare, and lack of punctuation throughout enables an openness which gives the witnessing birds freedom and space. We are in deep close connection with them, their aerial experience, which is wonderfully apt and moving.
Littlehampton: Random memories of Auntie Anne which appear at first to be mere fragments gather momentum and become an in-depth and loving portrait of an elderly relative. Simplicity of tone belies the essential grief that gives this poem its intense beauty. The past is seen in aching heartfelt glimpses. The closing couplet, in which the dilemma of how to write an elegy is both posed and answered via whole preceding reveal of the poem, is beautifully brought to bear in language.
*
The Gloucestershire Prize:
First Prize: Lucy Onsloe’s Error: The ballad form works well for this poem. The way people involved in an unjust event from the past are re-inhabited with living insight, humour, and tenderness made this poem a winner for me. The richness of historic material is absorbed without strain here.
Runner-up: Storm: Here there is much energy and action conveying the build-up and then the breaking of a storm. I loved ‘A great yew bucks and thrashes like a bear/in chains.’ The physicality of the storm is present throughout, and the gentle ending, after the wildness, is lovely. ‘We are open to earth.’
Penelope Shuttle
Poems:
1st
Prize
Strange Nature
Joanne Key
Bigheads made from spuds
with the eyes cut out.
Hearts of mud.
We twisted bodies
from twigs and straw,
abandoned them
to the woodland floor.
They slept in their death
caps.
Just kids.
How were we to know
they’d mushroom
in their pissy beds,
bloom with the nightshade,
wake with the stinkhorn.
Mam sprinkled a ring
of pure white powder
around the house,
hung lavender
in every room.
Dirty, deadly men.
I warned you
not to toy with them.
But what was done
was done.
And so three little brides
sat crosslegged by the fire,
dressed in best lace
tablecloths, net curtain
veils.
It rained for days,
daisy chains wilted
around our necks.
We spoiled everything
we touched.
A moon face ballooned
at the window,
covered in bruises,
took one look at us
and slipped away
into the mist.
And every night after,
we lay awake, praying,
listening to them
fighting outside, closing in,
going around in circles
with the slurs and catcalls.
Fumble. Tumble. Mumble.
They groped
along the garden wall.
Three blind men
feeling a way,
stumbling
about on spindly pins,
feet of clay,
Father. Forgive us our sin.
Rotten to the core -
flesh fell to dirt,
nettle claimed the skin.
With their last breaths
they called our pet names.
And in the morning all that was left
were betting slips
fluttering down Love Lane.
Joint runners up
Monument
Valley
Penny
Boxall
All
that night I held your hand and watched
the
blips your life had been reduced to –
cyan,
magenta, grey. The bleeping displays
were
selfconsciously unhurried, nothing
you
could call a siren or alarm, though
your
life depended. It was a vigil of sorts,
though
I couldn’t think of much to say
except
we love you and they’re coming,
while
the practised nurse stood deaf-mute
at
the controls. I’ve never had a slower night
nor
wished one longer. Your breathing,
made
regular by the machine, was enforced
calm.
I watched the screens and didn’t
understand
what it all meant – following
the
little graphs that to my untrained
eye
resembled canyons, rock formations.
Then
I had it. Monument Valley: another
place
you’d never been and won’t go now,
though
you talked about it often.
Lake
Como was another one. Versailles.
The Second of August
Peter Donnelly
I’d never heard of Finzi
till my grandad took me
to a concert in what I now know
was St Wilfrid’s Church.
We got lost on the way back
as well as wet. He knocked
on a random door at 11 pm
to ask the way. It turned out
to be the home of a doctor
whose daughter he’d taught –
he knew everyone in Harrogate.
It’s strange how I remembered it
last night going to bed,
then today discovered
it was exactly nineteen years ago;
that Finzi once lived in the town,
studied at Christ Church
where Grandpa’s headstone lies.
Had I not had an interview that day
for a job I didn’t get,
I wouldn’t have stayed with Grandpa
for what turned out to be the last time.
When I switched the radio on yesterday
and the clarinet concerto in C minor was playing,
it would have meant nothing to me.
I don't know what I'd have bought my mother
for her sixtieth birthday,
but it wouldn't have been that CD.
5 commended poems
The
Scots Pine
Adrian
Buckner
Those
who love us know
that
we talk among ourselves:
warnings
whispered in the wind
of
the burrowing hereabouts pest –
a
communal caress of murmur.
Otherwise,
we are mute:
Further
acts of speech could lead
to
all manner of un-tree-like behaviour.
I
might feel in my roots,
a
blighting worm of envy
for
the beech’s incomparable summer
shade,
its blazing autumnal show;
a
contempt canker for Boulevard limes –
yellow
and half nude by September’s end;
merely
a destructive mite of cruelty
for
the chestnut’s yearly sickness plea.
I
stand unfailing through season’s
change
– weather-beaten, enduring;
my
leaves stay with me two years,
I
cast off my weaker branches.
I
contend the legend of the oak.
Nothing
is more blasted than me.
The Telephone Box
Marion McCready
The praying mantis of an oak leaf
left in the relic of an old red telephone box
grows fat on every private conversation,
every secret flapping its wings
against the glass.
The oak leaf lies next to the fallen
black handle of the handset as if the words,
weighing it down, were finally escaping.
I replace the handset to leave room for hope.
The shiny steel of the keypad illuminated
in the morning light is the face of someone
who knows better.
In a dream, I blow a storm
into the mouth-piece of the handle.
Every morning I pass by the silent phone box
standing like a comedian awaiting her cue.
We are both waiting for a call from across
the Holy Loch, from across the Firth of Clyde
for the voice that does not say my name.
Instead asks for the heron, the oyster-catcher
and the jackdaw.
The
Adoration
Roy
Marshall
After the first week of silence and darkness
he noticed how the crescent cuticles on his thumbs
were so much bigger than the ones on his fingers;
how, like so much else, he had taken his fingers
for granted. He considered the mutability of his
skin, its myriad cells with their
specialist functions,
the expanse across his back and chest, the protection
and pleasure it had afforded him. He admired the elasticity
of the scrotum, the way its shape and texture shifted
with the weather. He reflected on the utility of each toe,
how their gradation had balanced and steadied him.
He wondered at his lymphatic and nervous systems,
gave thanks to each bone and red organ. He told every cell
how they were adored, how much he would miss them.
What
the birds said
Ama Bolton
let go let be
the osprey said
plummet from this
thrift-cushioned cliff
become an arrow
said the gannet
pierce the water’s
glint and glitter
dive said the cormorant
deep go deeper
find the creature
who troubles your sleep
hold fast unmask it
ask its name
yours is the same
the rain-goose said
look in its face
make your excuse
and may you be forgiven
said the raven
Littlehampton
Alexandra
Corrin-Tachibana
I owe you a letter.
I have one of yours from 2014,
you’d been to The Nutcracker with
the ladies from choir,
had a Chinese, and were keeping busy
because you have to keep going
don’t you Alexandra?
You’d say.
Letters, about grandchildren––
Robert, Emily, Daisy, Tommy and Joseph.
And
always, an anecdote.
Like when Jane drove into a
pothole
on Christmas day and wound up
on a dark country lane
replacing a tyre.
Auntie Anne, I’m thinking of you
making Bubble & Squeak,
and playing Hide-and-Seek with
me and Christina.
The Gloucestershire Prize
Lucy
Onsloe’s Error
David
Hale
‘Jailed
for a week ‘having received a shilling from Elizabeth Dowell
to
discover where a pound note was concealed in her dwelling house.’
Parish
Records November 1825
Too
old and stiff to work the fields
you
turned to another form of income
when
Mistress Dowell came to your door
hearing
you possessed an all-seeing eye.
Inviting
her to sit, you patterned wax,
read
her hand, slipped into trance,
flowed
through her house lifting sacks
of
broadcloth, bundles of rosemary,
teasel,
madder and claimed you saw
the
note at the foot of her work basket,
though
later it was found wedged
in
a gap beneath an attic purlin.
Brought
before the justice you tried
to
explain yourself, but how could words
describe
what you saw within? Besides,
he
didn’t believe you, nor did it help
you
were deaf and as rank as a polecat,
or
that he was a pillar of the church.
Clothed,
fed, allocated a bed, comfortable,
warm,
you wished you’d been allowed
to
stay longer, having not foreseen that winter
would
come early, or what would occur
when
you left the lock-up a week later
under
the horns of a waning Moon.
Gloucestershire Prize runner up.
Storm
David
Clarke
I
This
premonition has swollen in days of heat.
Now
neighbours lean from windows
to
see the tempest fanfare its own birth.
All
the birds are quitting the sky.
A
great yew bucks and thrashes like a bear
in
chains. Cudgelled by blasts of grey air,
it
flashes grim and powerless paws.
Shirt-spectres
twist on washing lines.
Streets
are skittered with leaves and plastic bags.
The
skyline sparks to negative and groans,
makes
every house quake. The bones
of
all the people are kindling now,
dry
as a twigs that brute boys snap
in
rushes of senseless, sudden strength.
II
The
road is wild as the lid of a boiling pot.
Tarmac
writhes like a channel for black eels.
Land,
air and sky are either water
or
steam. Houses curl and cower.
Thunder
breaks open another magnum of froth.
Each
leaf and lamp and downpipe oozes,
drips
syncopated beats. Beasts
of
field and hedgerow wait for the end,
stretch
their necks and noses into warmer air.
Time
runs into gutters, churns itself
green.
Hills swell, shift their sodden
coats
about old shoulders, sigh.
Merciful
storm. Pull us softly apart
and
sluice us. We are open to earth.
Car competitions Wow, cool post. I'd like to write like this too - taking time and real hard work to make a great article... but I put things off too much and never seem to get started. Thanks though.
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