Results! Please scroll down for judge’s report and poems
First Prize ‘Young
Servant Girl with Cardomom’ by Eva Isherwood-Wallace
Runner Up ‘Amateur’ by
Julie-ann Rowell
5 x commended
‘Tench’ by Ann
Drysdale
‘Dee’ by Robin Gilbert
‘The Yearly Trick’ by
Doreen Hinchliffe
‘Heron (after Roy
Marshall’s Heron)’ by Neil Richards
‘Amberwood’ by Michael
Coy
Gloucestershire Prize ‘On Nashchokinsky Street’ by David Hale
Gloucestershire runner-up ‘Kilvicheon Church, Mull’ by
Anya Maltsberger
The following poets had poems in the final
20. We have not
published titles so that there is no bar to entering or publishing elsewhere,
but poets are welcome to get in touch if they want to know which poem of theirs
got this far: Robin Gilbert, Helen Hail, Jack Warren, David Hale, Chris
Collier, Chris Hemmingway, Sallyanne Rock, Michael Caines, Tina Cole, Jane
Bonneyman, Eva Isherwood-Wallace.
Judge’s Report
My favourite definition of poetry is a non-definition. When AE
Housman was asked the inevitable ‘what is poetry’ question, he famously replied
that he “could no more define poetry than a terrier can define a rat, but that
I thought we both recognised the object by the symptoms which it provokes in
us.” On one level you could see this as grumpily dodging the question. I prefer
to see it as an acknowledgement that poetry, like most things worth doing,
resists easy definition – is what Wittgenstein would later call a ‘family
resemblance term’ – but that if you read enough of the good stuff you recognise
it when you see it. According to Housman the symptoms it provoked in him
included bristling skin, a shiver down the spine and ‘a precipitation of water
to the eyes’. I duly packed my antihistamines and headed, terrier-like, into
the poetic undergrowth.
And I was not disappointed; the quality of this year’s entry was
exceptionally high. Around 450 poems had been submitted, and I started by
trying to whittle these down to a manageable number, a process that took far
longer than I had expected and resulted in a long-list of 58 superb poems –
enough for a good collection. Over a couple of weeks I chipped away at this,
going back to it, leaving it for a few days to see which poems had settled in
my mind, going back to it again, letting it ferment once more, until it boiled down
to a shortlist of 20, from which I selected the winning nine.
In fact the overall winner announced itself at almost the first
reading. Eva Isherwood-Wallace’s Young Servant Girl with Cardamom struck
me not just with a shiver down the spine but with that wave of envy that is the
purest tribute one poet can pay another: I truly wished I had written it.
Sestinas are notoriously hard to write without sounding artificial and clunky, yet
such is Isherwood-Wallace’s skill that I was halfway through my first reading before
I even realised it was a sestina. Her selection of line endings, her inspired
choice of topic, her beautifully sinuous lines and the slow accretion of
details – the ‘flame diluted dark’, the ‘alcoholic smell of linseed / and
turpentine’, the ‘sea of still-wet lapis lazuli’ – make this a physical joy to
read. It is quite simply among the best sestinas I’ve ever read – I can’t
praise it enough.
I liked Julie-ann Rowell’s
Amateur a lot on my first reading and
more on each subsequent one. It’s a deceptively simple poem – you really could
imagine it arising from a hushed conversation at a concert. And yet it addresses
a profound and important topic in a striking and memorable way. Rereading it
over a period of weeks, it struck me that each line had been polished to
perfection and not a word was out of place – it is in that sense highly
professional. And yet it was at the same time amateur in the sense in which
Rowell uses it – the product of love. Very beautiful.
The Gloucestershire Prize goes to On Nashchokinsky Street by David
Hale. I admired this for doing something that poetry is particularly good
at and doing it well – that is creating a powerful atmosphere obliquely, by
hints and suggestions. Through its short but highly polished lines, with their
subtle internal rhymes and half rhymes, it builds up into something akin to a
short story that is also a study in someone slowly breaking down under the
weight of an oppressive, suffocating situation. This is skilful and powerful
writing with a razor-like precision.
The Gloucestershire Prize runner up was Anya Maltsberger with Kilvicheon Church, Mull. What
I admired about this was its sense of keen observation and the sheer fluency
with which images flow into one another. The description of sheep as “building
blocks for long days / in sleet with knuckles / gone rust coloured” was
particularly impressive.
Another Gloucestershire
writer with a superb eye for detail and considerable skill in crafting striking
lines is Robin Gilbert. Several of
Robin’s poems made it into my last 20, but I chose Dee because I felt that the images – such as the “sea’s writhings
locked in wood” and the “lemon and chocolate whorls / of countless snails” –
were particularly sharp. A “small breath of birds” is literally breath-taking.
Ann Drysdale’s Tench is a poem that
grew on me more after several readings. Like the fish of the title it doesn’t
offer up all its riches to a casual glance, and some of its least showy lines
are in fact doing the most work – witness the repeated assonance in “a swift
glimpse of an unsuspected tench / left in the depths of the abandoned pond”.
The idea at its heart – the congruence between Schrödinger’s cat and Drysdale’s Tench – only made fully manifest in the
last stanza is moving and original, and is beautifully expressed in a form that
is as humane as it is lovingly crafted.
The Yearly Trick by Doreen Hinchliffe is one of several poems this year that took Larkin as their
starting point, and after the critical mauling his reputation suffered in the
1990s, I’m glad that he is on the rise again. I was impressed by Hinchcliffe’s confidence
in placing obscure words – “the earth discards its cerements”, the crow
“rasping its leitmotif” – at key line endings, the surefooted way in which she
handles the metre, and the skill with which each stanza carefully builds
towards its culmination so that the inclusion of Larkin’s lines seems entirely
organic.
Neil Richards’ Heron (after Roy
Marshall’s Heron) is another of those poems that grew on me with successive
readings. What I enjoyed here was the careful observation and the skill with
which the poet translated this into lasting imagery – the heron “reading the
river” before the author’s presence leads it to lose its place; the stillness
pressing down on its own. “As ever it’s the going that’s striking” hints at a
deep melancholy underlying the vision – a lot is said in just nine lines.
Finally, what shall we call Michael Coy’s Amberwood? Light verse? Comic poetry? Probably the author considers
it neither. But light verse – if I can get away with the term – tends to get a raw
deal in poetry competitions, which is a shame because many people derive a lot
of enjoyment from both reading and writing it. And this was a particularly good
example – wise as well as witty, learned but blokey, superbly crafted, and like
the best light verse, unafraid to address the heaviest of topics. Enjoy.
The other poems that made my twenty-strong shortlist, encompassing
around four percent of the total entry, included additional ones by Eva
Isherwood-Wallace, David Hale and Robin Gilbert, as well
as work by (in no particular order) Helen
Hail, Jack Warren, Chris Collier, Chris Hemingway, Sallyanne Rock, Michael
Caines, Tina Cole and Jane Bonnyman.
Congratulations and thanks to them and to everyone else who entered.
Ross Cogan
Ross Cogan
Eva Isherwood-wallace, Winner:
Young Servant Girl with Cardamom
A portrait
of a girl who grinds cardamom:
eyes
lowered in the Flemish dark,
she splits
the paper husks to find seeds.
There is a
suggestion of passing time
in the
curling of her finger, as if to count
each kernel
as she sorts them at the table corner.
Look
closely—initials in the lower left corner
sit just
below the varnished box of cardamom.
They are
the artist’s, who makes her count
pale green
pods each day in the dark
back room
of the institute where he spends his time
painting
this girl, the mortar and pestle and seeds.
He thinks
a secret green hides in these seeds
and buys
them from the merchant on the corner,
who visits
the town each year around this time
in a
salt-stained boat packed with cardamom,
oysters,
skulls and candlesticks glinting in the dark,
and has so
far been charged with only one count
of grave
robbery. The girl has kept up her count
despite
the fishy, alcoholic smell of linseed
and
turpentine in the flame-diluted dark
of the
studio. She rarely leaves her corner.
At night
she dreams of an ocean of cardamom
rushing
through the hourglass that rations out her time.
After each
layer of oils, during the drying time,
she
wonders if her counting really counts.
He has not
yet made pigment from cardamom,
only
alizarin from madder, annatto from achiote seeds,
yellow
from saffron. How can he corner
the
perfect green he thinks is hiding in the dark
jewels of
these pods? She imagines they taste of dark
and gold;
a distant city in a forgotten time;
running
down turreted streets, around a corner
to a sea
of still-wet lapis lazuli with waves beyond count.
He’s never
let her try one. We don’t see the seed
she hides
up her sleeve to later taste her first cardamom.
From the
corner of his eye, he sees her fumble with the seeds.
He hits
the table, spilling cardamom into dark,
and asks
how much longer she will count. She lies and answers: for all time.
Julie-ann Rowell, runner-up
Amateur
The woman points out Hazel, the guitarist
on stage, whose eyes are dark and bright.
She
teaches piano as well, she says.
I go
to her once a week. I want to speak
but she continues, and she’s so exacting,
I’m
jelly afterwards, tremble like a child,
but
you know I’m only an amateur
I
didn’t expect such intensity.
I look again at the guitarist, resolute
before us
her eyes shining and I realise
how learning is to love, to worship even,
ability aside, it’s the wanting, the
striving
no matter the platform to come. The finding
is within. You are so lucky, I want to tell
the woman – there are so few teachers
who
can help someone master love.
David Hale, Gloucestershire Prize
On Nashchokinsky Street
A different city, a different sea, a different sun
Mikhail Bulgakov
Winter truly endless,
a screenplay for Dead Souls
becomes an antidote
to darkness and grey snow.
In April, sick of censors,
Stanislavski’s demands,
you submit an application
for foreign travel.
At night you visit Paris, Cannes,
Gogol’s beloved Rome,
glimpse Nikolay Vasilyevich
on a rose-scented balcony.
Days pass. You write letters,
make telephone calls.
Still you hear nothing.
Ring tomorrow, they say.
You’ll receive an answer,
but you never do.
To keep yourself sane
you work through June
writing speeches, stage directions
(but never your own).
When the passport’s returned
stamped permission
refused,
you take to your bed
tormented by the hiss
of a faulty cistern,
the sound of doors being slammed.
Gloucestershire Runner-up, Anya Maltsberger:
Kilvicheon Church, Mull
they propped the quern
stones against the
western
wall of the abandoned
church, diagonal
grooves
cut sideways by the
rain.
little civilization,
no Roman
defences shot through
with
red, lithe lines of
Athenian
stone. Instead, sheep –
building blocks for
long days
in sleet with knuckles
gone rust coloured in
the cold skip-roiling
off the bay
church gone – mill –
the last dusting of
flour stuck
to the black rocks as the
neighbours
loaded up the boat and
left,
the scrape the hull
sent into the
sky echoed by an
observant
guillemot.
and now that they are
gone:
the call of the lambs,
lows
of mothers in reply.
grass birds,
stream
the whoo-ee of some
unknown singer
turned by mist.
Ann Drysdale, Commended
Tench
Pale lips, Ophelia’s, kissing the cool
surface
before the grey-green turn, the
disappearance.
A swift glimpse of an unsuspected tench
left in the depths of the abandoned pond
the day I shut the gate and let it be.
Now, decades later, I’ve reclaimed the
land,
stepping back into the old shared
vision,
renewing my acquaintance with the trees,
keeping our promise to the unseen
creatures
that have made homes among the
dereliction.
I am restoring our beloved pond,
wondering if I’ll see those waxy lips,
wishing I might, hoping I don’t,
believing
that for as long as I remain unsure
the old tench will be safe among the
lilies.
Taken for granted, hypothetical,
my faith will save it, like applause for
fairies,
like the imagined cat of every colour
preserved forever in a lidless box
as a beloved possibility.
Robin Gilbert, Commended
Dee
Where
sea becomes river, river
sea,
not even the wind can tell.
There
is a line far out
where
a paler grey becomes
abruptly
dark,
but,
month on month
between
Wirral and Wales,
year
on year
as
far as Flint,
the
moon-dazed tide
drains,
floods, drains
the
mudflats, melding
land
with ocean,
salt
with fresh.
Out
on the estuary
within
an oarspull of the Little Eye
a
small breath of birds
wheels
in a close-shifting
convex
cloud
as a
magnet draws iron filings
on
paper from beneath,
and
is lost to sight.
Here
on Red Rocks Marsh
a
long fallen tree
bleached
white,
the
sea’s writhings locked in wood,
and
smart as humbugs
the
lemon and chocolate whorls
of
countless snails.
A
single lark
chimneys
upward
singing,
heedless,
to
the battling wind.
Doreen Hinchcliffe, Commended
The Yearly Trick
‘The
trees are coming into leaf
Like
something almost being said
The
recent buds relax and spread
Their
greenness is a kind of grief.’
Philip Larkin’s ‘The Trees’
I walk the graveyard in deep snow,
listening to muffled echoes – the slow
drip drop of water from overhanging
branches, the distant hoot and rattle
of trains, the cawing of a crow
in flight, rasping its leitmotif
across the valley. Though winter bites
the earth and seeks to tighten its hold,
though March is cold and sunlight brief,
the trees are coming into leaf.
The sky, an unrelenting grey,
shrouds what still remains of day
in an impenetrable gloom.
And yet, beneath my feet, something
is shifting, stretching, stirring the clay.
Like Lazarus rising from the dead,
the earth discards its cerements.
New twigs are springing into life,
their green tips arching overhead
like something almost being said.
Beyond the cemetery gate
where rows of ancient oaks await
the end of winter, I climb the stile
that leads me back to childhood woods.
I walk its paths, investigate
a snowdrop thrusting its pallid head
through frozen earth, piercing the shroud
of white. Camellias, too, are striving,
beginning to show faint hints of red.
The recent buds relax and spread.
A wind from the antipodes
breathes life into the forest. The trees
are quivering with an age-old song
that speaks of hope and of despair,
of summer’s warmth and winter’s freeze.
Nothing can shake their firm belief
that all rebirth requires a death.
Deep down they know the bitter truth –
their finery is all too brief,
their greenness is a kind of grief.
Neil
Richards, Commended
Heron
(After Roy Marshall’s Heron)
The weir is fisherless, apart from a heron
On the opposite bank, up by the salmon
ladder,
Reading the river. I stand and watch,
My stillness presses down upon its
own,
Until it looks up, losing its place
As ever it’s the going that’s striking
That stuck in the mud take off, and
In the flight something of the roll right
drunk;
Making heavy weather of the air
Michael
Coy, Commended
Amberwood
1.
Instruct
and Delight
The question is,
what should a poem be?
Un hommage à Bukowski or Wim Wenders?
An hour of
stress-release before East Enders?
A binge of
autopsychotherapy?
It must be more
than this: don’t you agree?
Then what? It should have beauty, structure, meaning
(but beauty must
not mean mere damascening).
Romantics think
that “meaning” starts with “me”.
The utterance
should offer an idea
aesthetic,
philosophical or felt:
the poet’s
place, to metamorphose, smelt,
Pygmalion preparing
Galatea.
You’re forging
something for the world to see?
Then take on
full responsibility.
2.
Chateaubriand
or Shelley?
A dialectic (use
the funky term!)
must needs exist
between subjective “me”
and universal
“you”. This has to be,
regardless of
objections. Why so firm?
If all is
Neoclassical, we share
a reasonable
rock to work upon,
but rock is
rigid exoskeleton.
Who’d thrive
inside a vat that’s pure Voltaire?
Sunflowers we,
who track the Ego’s sun,
but Icarus’ is
not the path to follow.
We love to shove
the gears onto “Apollo”,
but undiluted
Byron’s not much fun.
Boileau? Rousseau?
Or why not span both poles?
The poet is a
Fellow of All Souls.
3.
A Fly in Amber
We marvel that a
liquid can be stone,
its treacle-clear
consistency transformed
to glassy
permanence. Gnats swarmed
(a million years
before Man snatched the throne)
on summer
evenings, as they swarm today.
Those lacewing
legs alighted on the sap,
the aromatic
tacky honeytrap,
and life, though
forfeited, escaped decay.
We hold it to
the light, revolve it, wonder
that something
so exquisite can exist.
A creature so
impossibly remote
from our
obsessions nestles in the fist,
and colour,
shape and story all connote
a unity that
time can never sunder.
4.
Cimarosa
You see me as a
mad, outmoded martyr,
constricted by mistaken
moeurs of duty,
adhering to a
style that’s senile, snooty,
impaled upon the
spines of the sonata.
“Why struggle
with le stravaganze, conte?
Just loosen up
and let it all hang out.
Go freestyle,
and you’d even have a shout
at working with
a winner like Da Ponte!”
But structure
doesn’t mean I can’t intuit.
A frame’s not
lame that fosters something fruity,
an armature with
fancy flowing through it,
like cellos
wafting from Palazzo Muti.
Formality
contains its own fierce beauty …
(and doing it
this way, shows I can do it!)
5.
Nothing Really Matters
Can anything
amount to something, or
must everything
mean nothing? Hard to say.
Vignettes are
fine enough, and metaphor
explosive: what
of Timothy McVeigh?
Is Nihilism
positive, or not?
Does Innovation
simply change the guard?
Can Himmler be
despised by Bernadotte?
Has Hemingway
more balls than Abelard?
The constant
“me” defeats the fluid “you”.
The Golden Mean
means, those who own the gold
can be the
meanest. If the truth be told
(assuming anyone
can light on “true”)
if execution
features on the map at all,
the ones who tolled
the sentence, hold the capital.
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